Embodiment & Integration of the wisdom you learn can be messy

It’s been a long time I haven’t written on the blog and I start by this subject! I’m starting with…a LOT lol

Since doing my Yoga Teacher Training in 2018 and teaching yoga from 2019 to 2021, I’ve stopped teaching yoga for various reasons. I wanted and needed to focus more on my internal than my external life. Going from doing yoga to being yoga.

My motivation to write this post comes directly from a card I just pulled from my oracle (‘The Starseed Oracle” from Rebecca Campbell, artwork by Danielle Noel) that states this: ‘Many people glamorize the awakening process; however in reality it’s much messier and more difficult than most of us believe. We must first let go of what we think we know for sure and how we make sense of the world. This isn’t easy’.

And I thought it was so true indeed! I felt then that I haven’t written enough about this on the blog and that it was in fact so crucial.

Embodiment & Integration of wisdom always seem so appealing from the outside. I knew I tended to idolize those I felt were embodied (on social medias and real life, although you can always see just a glimpse of what people are especially on socials), because they was just this vibe around them, forgetting that they were also humans after all.

But actually for me Embodiment & Integration came first with a lot of pain. When you don’t love what is going on the inside, ‘the work’ takes longer. I thought that on my own journey, it started with a lot of empowerment and actions taken (habits, thoughts…) and then, it started to evolve more slowly because I knew I had to go deeper and deeper, and that felt hard. Anyone feel me on this?

Coming down to my roots, my inner child healing and general trauma healing was…a LOT! Like anyone else on the healing and awakening journey, right?

I don’t really know how I kept going but I did. I think that deep down I just knew I had to go deeper and deeper to find my light and take it finally on the outside. Besides the external practice of yoga, there was a lot of shadow work that had to be done. It was hard, it was not easy. Everything repressed, hidden came out with strong emotions that were never felt or expressed before.

I even went through an emotional burn-out because I just didn’t know what to do with all these emotions! I never felt or allowed myself to feel that much since childhood and that felt messy but also like I was on the right way.

‘The work’ on emotions was actually the biggest thing and awakening on my way which finally allowed me to embody & integrate more. Even though this process hasn’t end and I think never will until I die, doing the shadow work was hard but so necessary. And I think that it was what my soul was more yearning for, seeking for yoga in the first place.

The physical practice was a path I needed to open to in the beginning and then it grew into so much more.

What do you think when reflecting on your story? I’m curious to know your path and your own awakening.

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